Why does my child speak at home but not at school?
It can feel confusing when your child speaks freely at home but becomes silent in nursery, school or public places. This is not usually about stubbornness or rudeness. For some children, speaking in certain situations feels extremely difficult or impossible because of anxiety.
This pattern can be seen in children with Selective Mutism.
What this can look like
Your child may:
- speak freely at home but not in nursery, school or public places
- speak to some people but not others
- freeze or go silent when asked a question
- avoid situations where they may be expected to speak
- whisper, nod, point or use gestures instead of speaking
- become anxious when attention is on them
- find everyday situations difficult, such as saying hello, answering the register, shopping or speaking in front of others
What may be going on
These difficulties may be linked to Selective Mutism or social anxiety. Selective Mutism is an anxiety-based communication difficulty where a child can speak in some situations but is unable to speak in others.
It is important that children are not pressured, forced or surprised into speaking, as this can increase anxiety.
How assessment helps
A Selective Mutism assessment looks at your child’s communication across different people, places and situations. It includes detailed discussion with parents and liaison with school or key adults where appropriate.
This helps identify what is maintaining the difficulty and what gradual support is needed.
How I can help
I provide specialist Selective Mutism assessment, parent consultation, school guidance and intervention planning. Support may include graded exposure, sliding-in approaches, reducing pressure to speak and helping adults respond in a consistent, supportive way.
The aim is to help your child communicate with increasing confidence, step by step.
Not sure if this sounds like your child?
That’s okay. You do not need to know the reason before asking for help.
Book a free 15-minute consultation and we can talk through your concerns together.